Common Ground is Key to Roommate Success
by Kim Price
Before I entered college three years ago, there was nothing that scared me more than the prospect of sharing a room with someone I didn’t know. I knew I could handle the workload and the tough professors, but living in a tiny space with another person – that was a different story.
It’s almost laughable now how nervous I was. During my time at The College at Brockport, I’ve roomed with four incredible people. Not only have I overcome my initial fears, I have also made wonderful friends.
I realize I’m one of the lucky ones. Not everyone who lives in a dorm can leave it saying they’ve had a great experience there. There’s a world of potential for problems between people who are randomly assigned to live together.
Many times, one of the roommates likes to stay up late at night while the other has an 8 a.m. class. One likes to have friends over while the other is prepping for an exam. One is perpetually messy, and the other is a “neat freak.” And inevitably, there will be squabbles over shared property or money to buy necessities.
There are two key words every college student living in a dorm must remember: communication and compromise. If something about your roommate’s behavior is bothersome, talk to her about it. If there is no communication, the one causing the issue will keep living in the same fashion, unaware she is making the other miserable. And the one upset will only grow more agitated. Communication is key in resolving issues in a small space.
The room I currently share with another person is roughly 11 by 13 feet. Clearly that space is far too small for a large problem. If one arises, I’ve learned to suppress the fear that “she may be upset with me for awhile” and talk about it. Whatever problem I deemed so significant in my head is typically resolved in five minutes.
And if an issue can’t be resolved easily, there is always the resident assistant (RA), a student who is assigned to live in each hallway. They are trained to mediate conflicts between people sharing a room.
It helps to decide some things ahead of time
Before the start of each school year, it’s important to discuss with your roommates what to bring to the dorm. My first year, I lived with one other person, but for the last two years, I’ve been in a four-person suite. My roommate and I have that microscopic room, and two other people have a room of the same size. We meet in the middle with a common room and shared bathroom.
It can seem rather daunting to compromise with one person, let alone with three. But thankfully, the other two girls I live with are wonderful, and we’ve created the perfect shared space.
If it’s your first semester at a new school, you’ll get your roommate assignment a few weeks before classes begin. With Facebook at the tip of your fingers, accessing your roommate(s) is no problem at all.
Last summer, my roommates and I used Facebook to make a list of things we were going to bring to school. The school gave us a list of necessities – bring surge protectors and coaxel cables, but please, no lava lamps or George Foreman grills!
While most roommates only divvy up things like a microwave, refrigerator, TV, and carpet, in our room, there are many more things to consider.
I told the girls I was going to bring my share of items: two TVs, curtains, decorative pillows, an aqua chair, foam hand soaps from Bath & Body Works, several floral arrangements and my 6-foot palm tree, Ace. Just the absolute necessities.
Creativity contributes to friendship
Decorations for most people consist of nametags the RA makes for the door. But for us, creativity is key to a lovely, happy room. It’s a way to make a dingy dorm our own.
Christmas is what the girls of room 127 are known for. People knock on our door and ask if it’s okay if they come in and just stand there for a while. They love the lights that line the ceiling, the twinkling snowflakes that hang from an otherwise useless pipe, the gorgeous silver and blue Christmas tree with hundreds of ornaments, the doors that are wrapped to look like presents, and the enormous fireplace comprised of more than 300 “bricks” cut from construction paper – just so we can hang our stockings.
I think it’s the wreath dangling from the ceiling in front of our door that lures people in.
College is a tricky thing. Yes, it’s important to go to classes and get your education, but for me, the thing I’ll remember most about college is the people I met there. The experiences we’ve shared are the ones that will remain with me long after the course material from Advanced Media Writing leaves my mind.
I know I could have gotten stuck sharing a room with some pretty strange personalities. I was prepared to deal with that. I can compromise with the best (and worst!) of them. But I’m so glad I didn’t have to. It’s all about finding some common ground and building on that. It’s about working out the little problems before they turn into big ones. Once you know and understand each other, it’s about finding time to spend together and sharing your lives.
Friendship is one of the most important and useful things I have learned in college – and it’s something I know I’ll hold onto forever.
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